Remembering 911

Old Battleship on the Mississippi River

I took this photo while riding in the car…it’s amazing what you can capture while riding in the car. I would love to actually visit this battleship and I love the American Flags blowing steadily and consistently through the wind. Consistency is important in any type of battle.

This blog is dedicated to those that lost their lives in 911 and to the troops and their loved ones who are still fighting. My prayers and thoughts are with you this day and forever. Go America!

Quotes:

The Repulican Perspective:

The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving. Ulysses S Grant

It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it. General Douglas MacArthur

The Democratic Perspective:

All they that take the sword, shall perish with the sword. The Bible..Matthew

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. Bertrand Russell

I happen to agree with all of these quotes.

Dear Parents,

Now Playing - Lions for Lambs

In remembrance and to educate our daughter Brittnee, each year when this week rolls around we try to watch a 911 movie. Last year we watched the The World Trade Center and the Year Before that we watched Flight 93 .

Ready, Set...Bon Voyage!

I took this photo in New Orleans...Action!

Ready, Set and Go, sounds so primary but sometimes when we go back and apply the basics to our lives it can be very rewarding.

Just think democracy started in September 1620 on a boat called the Mayflower. It stared when Pilgrims had a problem with church and state and they took off on the voyager for the new world. The voting system started with 45 men because they wanted a different way of life. It worked because we now have our electoral voting system.

Believing in something means more than just believing in it! It means taking a stand and being methodological and creative in order to set a course of action.

Most of us just believe things should be a particular way or believe in a purpose but don’t know how to get them to manifest or sail.

The methods we could take are quite simple. We use them in our everyday life but forget to apply them when we are in trouble with our lives or things aren’t working out quite like we planned.

Methodological Steps

For example, when going out to fish we methodological set or plan our course of action by getting all of our supplies needed based on circumstances:

• Equipment: rod, bait or lure, boat or ice hut, knives, ice augers, portable ice chest and clothing depending on where and the type of fishing etc…
• Choosing location, location, location
• Fishing License
• And last but not least, food and water to keep your strength up.
  

Creative Steps

The trouble starts when you have taken the time to gather all of the needed equipment, researched the proper bait, location and time to fish….and still nothing happens!

This can be an extremely frustrating process in our life. But as I have said before in my old post it’s important to apply emotional intelligence through the doldrums of your life. Then if there is still no action you must get more creative.

You must change your course or approach! Beginning with the simplest form, for example when fishing just cut the damn line and rebait periodically till you find the magic bait.

In my particular case when trying to get diagnosed, I made some mistakes with the approach of telling my symptoms to the doctors. I kept telling them I hurt all over….this was the wrong approach with doctors because it was non-specific. I then became more specific and left out the fact that I had all over body pain and focused on what hurt the worst on my body at the time and it was my shins. Once I did that the rheumatologist commence to question whether I had some type of viral or cardiovascular problem....instead of depression or Fibromyalgia.

If one approach isn’t working for you in your life cut the line and try a different gadget, tool, location, theory etc...!

Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.
William Shakespeare

Everyone needs to be valued. Everyone has the potential to give something back.
Princess Diana

Now Playing - Styx - Come Sail Away Pirate's of the Caribbean

Personal Inventory

Myrtle Beach, S.C.

It’s interesting how we constantly judge and gauge others yet forget to take our own personal inventory!

Do you feel that you are; street smart, book smart or have common sense? Most people would answer yes to at least one of these. If you have at least two out of the three and still aren’t successful in life, then you should be asking yourself why?

Sometimes we may be very intelligent human beings or have lots of common sense, but a major flaw can destroy all of it. Flaws such as low emotional intelligence, self esteem, arrogance, obsessive controlling or compulsive disorder (OCD), etc. can discredit you and diminish your relationship with others. These flaws can totally discredit and serve as an injustice to your intelligence, therefore preventing you from excelling in several facets of life.

Struggling with a chronic-illness is one major variable that can cause lots of flaws and destroy ones self esteem, ability to deal with stress and process information, therefore inhibiting your ability to communicate to others successfully.

So how or can we rise above this problem without being viewed as inept or self destructing?

From my own experience, I know there are important emotional steps that I must practice. Steps such as: tolerance, patience, forgiveness, perseverance, self-awareness and confidence.

These emotional actions seem simple but when you put them to practice you will find it’s not all that easy. Not easy but you must continually persevere and practice them in order to rise above. I have wiped out several times but I continue to pull myself back-up and try again.

Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.
- Henry Ward Beecher

A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.
- Arthur Golden

Now Playing Ventures - Wipe-out

Tranquillity

I took this photo in Myrtle Beach S. Carolina

The sand is really brown, I doctored it up with Picasa. But I would love for the sand to be this white....purity and clearness.

The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.

Author: James Allen

Vasculitis

Update

I want to give you an update on the third ct scan (scan) I had done, to find out why I constantly have blood in my urine as well as flank pain. According to the one urologist I’m seeing, it’s more apparent that the lesions on my kidneys, liver and stones are from Behcets. The lesion on my right kidney is 1 cm (9mm) and is 21-22 Hounsfield units which is just beyond normal range. I had a couple of small kidney stones which could also contribute to the bleeding and the liver has two 4 centimeter lesions. The urologist wants to continue monitoring this by scan every three months. I agree with him to an extent, with the information he gave me. Based on prior experiences with my health and this disease, I believe I need to seek out some different opinions.

I ask for my records which he gracefully gave (incase of an emergency). Upon reviewing the scan results, I noticed errors as well as findings he chose to exclude from telling me. So please, please people, always get your own copy of your scans, people are human they make errors and choices that are not always correct or good choices for your particular case for example, choosing to leave out information that could be specific to your diagnosis while unspecific to someone else.


I found the following Error and Excluded Details in my scan:

Error

• The Findings Section of my scan - Claims there is evidence of hydronephrosis (which is swelling of the kidneys).

• Impression Section – States NO Evidence of hydronephrosis in the kidneys.
  

Excluded Details

• Mild scarring or atelectasis in the left lung base - I’m not a smoker or have never been a smoker (I have never inhaled Haha!), nor have I had pneumonia. Also, keep in mind this was an abdominal scan not a chest scan or a chest x-ray so getting the full picture of the lungs has not been done and this radiologist made errors, obviously I don’t have a lot of faith in their impression of my findings. In my opinion, they have made an error in judgement; they should have ordered an MRI instead of three scans due to the limited ability to see details, the multiple findings in different organs and the risk of my disease….not to mention the cost behind doing three different scans.

I realize for people who smoke or have asthma, this is probably an insignificant finding for them, but for someone who has vasculitis its a very important finding, especially when I have been struggling with chest pain and other symptoms that indicate pulmonary and cardiovascular involvement. It’s the underlying condition causing the lesion, not the lesion itself, that’s cause for concern.

What this urologist doesn’t understand about the scarring or collapse of my lung is, I have been seeing a cardiologist due to an abnormal EKG - which read possible myocardial infract (heart attack) due to right ventricle blockage. The right ventricle feeds the cardio and pulmonary vascular system. Meaning it supplies oxygen and blood from my heart to my brain, neck, lungs, kidneys, liver, legs and feet…the whole body.

As you can see in the above diagram, the right ventricle feeds directly into the left lung. The right ventricle is what came back on my EKG as blocked and the left lung base is scarred. Can you see the cause of my vigilance and the lack of….with my current urologist and radiologist in their errors and poor judgments?

I've had an ECG and it came back normal, meaning my heart looks like a normal size as well as all of my chambers. I probably had lots of inflammation in the chest region but no damage that they can see has been done to the heart yet. When I had my dissecting aneurysm the MRI revealed both arteries in my neck were abnormally small and they deemed it as hypoplasty. But I also have narrowed blood vessels in the eyes (according to retina specialist) and narrowing urethra in the bladder (which I just learned from this urologist). Narrowing tends to be symmetrical just like arthritis. If the eyes are the window's to our health this could be an indicator of what may be happening to the blood vessels in my body.

I realize people have a difficult time grasping and understanding the process of my disease, but doctors? I can’t understand why? Since I have started this blog, I have received some great questions from people which generate new thoughts and is making me a stronger advocate towards Behcet’s. I was talking to my cousin on the phone yesterday and she said to me “Jenece, the Behcet’s website makes this disease seem so simple.” This is an important statement; it’s very true that doctors and medical professions seem to focus on what I like to call “Surface Symptoms” when treating or reviewing test which could be part of the problem. There needs to be more awareness in the different progressions of this disease. Maybe, the Symptoms on the American Behcet’s website need to be rewritten by adding the progession of a vasculitis based on the length of time one has the disease. Maybe, I should write to the President of the Behcet’s website? I don’t know what all this means for my prognosis but I’m hoping that it should shed more light once I get some chest x-rays. I made an appointment with my DO last week. But I missed the appointment because I couldn’t drive last Monday, I was unable to lift my right arm to drive…go figure.

Now Playing How The Body Works

Now Playing Heart of Rocking Roll - Huey Lewis

Do You Have a Good Grip On Life?

It’s inevitable to go through life without faults or problems; we are not without them no matter our status or belief that we are faultless, error or problem free. It’s how we handle them that divide us from others and the outcome of our decisions that lets us know if we have a good grip or a weak grip on our life.

“Awareness of our weaknesses makes the difference in which we are.”

It helps us to realize that we may need to apply more pressure in order to prevent a fall or to maybe lean gracefully to one side or the other etc…. I know this because; I have had lots of falls in my life. Ha Ha!! I can be extremely clumsy. In fact, I know "Murphy's Law" really well…just like most girls do. My friends have bought me sippy cups to drink out of, made up nick names like “Messy Marvin" and family members have made jokes and wise cracks. But the sad part is some of the accidents are out of my control. On several occasions, due to my illness, and I’m sure other’s with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) can agree with me on this particular subject, I have fallen, dropped spilled and broke things without any control due to fatigue, unforeseen muscle spasms, crippling and freezing of body parts. Because you can’t visually see the deforming in my fingers or body parts, with the type of arthritis I have which is non-deforming to the joints, as you would someone with RA, people just assume you are fine and normal. It’s incredibly frustrating for people to think you’re not paying attention or just being a ditz. I don’t know how many times I have been made fun of. But as I said, it’s how you handle it. Sometimes, I’m less sensitive and able to just laugh it off and other times it really hurts my feelings. Two Friday’s ago, I was having coffee with my mom and I was trying to hold the coffee cup the same way she was “Thumb and first finger” and I almost dropped a very nice coffee cup, which was part of my china she gave to me as a Christmas gift. My hand totally crippled or froze up. I couldn't get it to function properly..damn that hand. I was trying to put the coffee cup back on the saucer and I had to take my left hand to sit the coffee cup back into place, so I wouldnt break the cup. I shouldn't have tried this at all because I know better; I know I have to couple it instead of trying to be pretty. My mom never even noticed what was happening and the event propelled a funny story about my late father and my husband that is so funny and I would love to share it with you.

When I was younger my clumsiness was much, much worse because I was unaware of what was happening and didn’t know I needed to take precautionary measures to prevent these accident spells, such as holding things a particular way. I remember going to the cabinets to get a plate and my wrist feeling like I broke it and my fingers feeling so stiff I had no flexibility at all. So needless to say I broke lots of plates, glass wear, good dishes and I almost fell down the stairs at the altar after saying “I do.” I believe that was pure clumsiness due to nervousness. Ha Ha!!

Before Mike and I took the leap of faith, or should I say, before I took the fall of faith, my father told Mike he needed to have a serious conversation with him before he decided to marry me. Mike was extremely apprehensive about what he was about to learn but he sat and listened to what my father had to tell him. With a serious look in his eye, his red hair pasted back to one side, and a scowled brow, my father said “Son there is something you must know about my daughter, something that is very important to the safety and financial well-being of your future with her.” Mike feeling a lump in his throat and probably one in his stomach swallows hard and prepares for what my father was about to tell him:

“Do NOT buy glass or anything breakable for your kitchen or house, you need to go to the Army Navy store to buy for your home “Plastics” everything needs to be Plastic” in your home. Do not buy any expensive dishes, she will break all of them.” Ha Ha!!

Eleanor Roosevelt - "No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent."

Now Playing Clumsy Fergie

The Colors of Life

I took this photo on the side of the road...there was a fire and I had to capture it. I love it, it's one of my favorites! I changed the settings on Picasa to enhance the color. If you click on the image to make larger you will see through the fire, in the middle of the two green trees, "A Bridge." I Love the elusive finding, isn't that what life is about.. finding the bridge through the fire? Enjoy!

INSIGHT TO LIFE'S BEAUTY

STRUGGLES AND CHALLENGES ARE SIGNS OF STRENGTH IN LIFE. OUR EYES MAY NOT BE AS ACCEPTING TO THEES MISFORTUNES AND FAULTS. BUT EVENTS TRIGGER THE MIND TO REFLECT, REVEALING A VIVIDLY GENUINE INSIGHT. PERMEATING WISDOM, WHICH PROMPTS GROWTH, BEAUTY, HAPPINESS AND WELL-BEING. WHERE EVEN THE MOST TARNISHED YEAR SPARKLED ITS BEAUTY.

Written by Jenece Austin

Now Playing - Sleeping Beauty Wake Me Up